1 If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. 2If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. 3If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love. 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 Message
***
Understanding what love is and learning how to love may seem like a really obvious lesson…one I should have already learned. But the thing about love is it’s not a lesson you learn once. It’s a life-long process in which God (who, by the way, IS love), continues to perfect us to a greater degree with each new revelation that He gives us.
I used to live out of the revelation that loving someone who is difficult to love meant being able to pray for them (ie: You know you have forgiven when you genuinely desire God’s best for another and earnestly ask Him to bless that individual’s life). [And trust me, it is often even a challenge to get to this point…sometimes the hurt is so great, that you don’t want to pray for a person…you feel that they don’t deserve it!] But as God continues to heal my heart and transform it to be more and more like that of His son’s, my eyes have been opened to a new revelation: SOMETIMES IN LOVING THE LESS LOVELY, WE ARE CALLED NOT ONLY TO PRAY, BUT TO BE WILLING TO BE A PART OF THE ANSWER TO THAT PRAYER IF GOD SO CHOOSES.
Allow me to share the way in which I came to this revelation…
Something that I am passionate about is identity…knowing who you are, knowing your gifts, knowing your dreams, embracing your uniqueness, having a vision, having goals, claiming the call on your life and stepping into it! Whether I’m working as an occupational therapy practitioner, volunteering as a day-camp counselor, or simply spending time with friends, I feel like I am always trying to help people reach their fullest potential! So naturally, this passion was a driving force behind many of the acts of service that I had intended to carry out this summer. But when I realized just how LITTLE of my time and energy was going to be directed towards people who were ALREADY in my life, that’s when I had to stop and ask myself…
If I say, I long to see men rise up and be strong leaders, but I don’t take the time to pray for my own father and I refuse to give him opportunities to be strong for me because I’d rather be “miss independent,” do I really mean it?
I say, I long to see woman embrace their beauty and use their gifts to bless others, but I don’t take the time to encourage my own mother and I hurt her by refusing to let her help me with anything because I think I am perfectly self-sufficient, do I really mean it?
If I say, I long to see kids nurtured, and valued, and empowered, but I don’t have a clue what’s going on in my own little sister’s life and I refuse to spend time with her because I’m too “busy,” do I really mean it?
Why is it that I say I’m passionate about something, but then when presented with an opportunity to live out that passion, I pursue everything but it. I cry out, “God, use me!”…but as soon as He says, “Okay, here’s your assignment! Love these people!”…I, like Jonah, whine with desperation, “Anything but THAT! Anyone but THEM!” and take off in the opposite direction.
Here’s where it gets really good…
God responds with, “Why not THAT? Why not THEM? Isn’t that EXACTLY what you’ve been praying for for so long???”
Me: “Well, YEAH! But…”
God: “You want to see men become strong? YOU need to FORGIVE them so that they are free to do so. You want to see woman embrace their true identity? YOU need to BEFRIEND the ones who are broken, confused, lost. You want to see children empowered? YOU need to INVEST TIME into the lives of the ones who are challenging. You want to see relationships restored? YOU need to stop running away from hurt and start ACTIVELY DEMONSTRATING LOVE.”
WE SO OFTEN PRAY WITH ONE OF TWO EXPECTATIONS: THAT EITHER OUR PRAYERS WILL NOT BE ANSWERED [HOPELESS] OR THAT THEY WILL BE ANSWERED WITHOUT ANY NEED FOR ACTION ON OUR PART [AS IF GOD SHOULD REPLY WITH THE WAVE OF A MAGIC WAND].
“WITHOUT GOD, MAN CANNOT. WITHOUT MAN, GOD WILL NOT.”
This quote, which upon embracing its significance I have quickly come to love, so accurately demonstrates how life as a proverbs 31 woman (or Godly man) should look. We pray because without God we can do nothing. God gives us answers to those prayers that often require us to act because He wants to partner with us…He uses US to answer prayers…the very prayers we ourselves pray!
***IT IS NOT FAIR TO PRAY A PRAYER TO GOD AND DEMAND AN ANSWER UNLESS YOU ARE WILLING TO BE THAT ANSWER!!!***
I MUST UNCONDITIONALLY LOVE…UNCONDITIONALLY! It seems so elementary, but the profoundness found in such simplicity is foundational to any and all future spiritual growth! Until I learn to forgive those who have hurt me, and begin to pray and live in such a way as to genuinely and completely unconditionally LOVE the people in my life who are difficult to love, nothing else matters…no earthly gift, no spiritual gift, no revelation of any kind, no act of service here or abroad…it’s all meaningless without love.
So, on that note, I conclude with this: my very own 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 paraphrase…as a confession of my failure to adequately demonstrate love to the people that God has placed in my life, an encouraging reminder of the love that is mine to share thanks to partnership with God, and a vow to pray and live in such a way as to always be willing to act upon my prayers…to BE the very ANSWER, when God requires…or should I say, invites…
If I hold deep conversations, deliver inspirational speeches, and write artful essays, but do not demonstrate my words in loving action, do not listen to me, for I am nothing but a noisy hypocrite. If I speak into the lives of others and give encouragement and advice full of wisdom beyond my years, and have a faith that proclaims, “Nothing is impossible for God!” but have no compassion for those I encourage and advise, no humble acts of selfless servant hood in accordance with my prayers for miracles, I am nothing but a heartless pretender. If I get rid of everything I own, remove all worldly pleasures from my life, and go out of my way to “suffer for the sake of Christ,” but do so that I may receive the praise of onlookers rather than genuinely desire to be the hands and feet of Jesus to those in need, I gain nothing. Their words are empty, their applause, hollow…the good reputation I attempt to create for myself and cling to oh so desperately will slowly fade away. Only the things that are truly of God will stand…
“And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is LOVE.” 1 Corinthians 13:13
